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It's not suppose to be this way.Why are you treating me this way? What have i done?

I'm hurt. I can feel the pain. I can feel that my heart is bleeding.Maybe this is called KARMA. Karma for me, for all the dillema and hurts that I've done to innocent people. Maybe this is the curse for a wicked girl like me. A punishment that is more to death sentence.Now, I'm slowly accepting the fact that maybe I'm destined to feel this pain.But does it really need to be so painful like what I'm feeling now? Why me? Why you? Is it a crime to love a person like you?Well, maybe Yes! And I'm guilty. Cause why would I feel so hurt and even cry at night? Why would I feel the pain when I see you blue? All I know is that I'm addicted. I'm addicted to you. You're like an illnesss that's so difficult to cure. You're like a bubble gum that is so difficult to let go. You're like a part of me. An essential part of me. Doubts, uncertainties and many questions flashed through my mind. i don't wanna wait in vain for your love. I'm starting to feel the emptiness, I'm conceited and I'm useless. is that how powerful you are to sway a girl like me? Well then i'm down on my knees. And I'm begging you. I'm begging you to set me free from the curse that you have given me. Please give me the chance to be happy.

Kailangan ko ba talagang masaktan at lumuha ng ganito? Bakit ba sa bawat araw na nakikita kita ay naiirita ako? Noong una'y wala lang sa akin ito. Siguro nga...Siguro kakaiba ka lang sa mga taong nakakasalubong ko. Siguro dahil sa kakaiba mong porma, pwede na rin sa damit na iyong suot. Pero bakit ganun? Hindi ka na maalis sa isipan ko? Nakakahiya mang aminin pero bago ako matulog ay naaalala kita, at kahit maging sa aking pag gising mukha mo ang aking nakikita. Oo nga bata pa ako. Ni sa unang tingin ay masasabi mong wala akong kamuwang muwang sa mundong ito. Ngunit dahilan ba yun upang itigil ko na ang kakaiba at di maipaliwanag na nadarama sa iyo? Wag naman sana...Hindi pa ako handang madapa at masaktan.

    What's wrong with me? Last time I don't care about him. He's just an ordinary boy who used to pass by in front of me. He's just a person whom I don't care. But just like how fast the tick of the clock moves, I can't also explain how fast my feelings for him change.

    I don't know when did it start. I don't know how. And I don't know why. It's so pathetic. Yes, it is. My classmates were confused of why is it that I'm concerned about him, though they all know that I don't really like him.Me either I can't understand myself.

It really causad a huge burden to my heart... I wonder how can I cope up and get through the flow.Sometimes thinking about it breaks me into pieces.I want to disappear. I think it's nice NOT to know the fact rather than thinking about it which really makes me insane. I hope someone could just understand me,then offer me a hanky or a shoulder to lean on.They say i'm pathetic but i'm not.All I wanted is just to express the hurts that I'm feeling inside.But they can't understand me. Well then where are the friends whom I used to be with? Hello? Can't you hear me? I'm here and I'm stucked from my own loneliness. 

I can still remember the days that we've promised that we'd always be friends forever. I can still remember the days that were together. But where are they? That memories? Are we going to forget about it? Sometimes I can't understand how truth stabbs me. And now I'm still struggling for questions that still remains to be unanswered. Tsk..tsk..well i guess time is enough to unveil the hidden truth.